Rather than being a tool for connection, sympathy emerged in the data as a form of disconnection. Sympathy is removed: When someone says, I feel sorry for you or That must be terrible, they are standing at a safe distance. Rather than conveying the powerful me too of empathy, it communicates not me, and then adds, But I do feel for you. Sympathy is more likely to be a shame trigger than something that heals shame. ― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Rather than being a tool for connection, sympathy emerged in the data as a form of disconnection. Sympathy is removed: When someone says, I feel sorry for you or That must be terrible, they are standing at a safe distance. Rather than conveying the powerful me too of empathy, it communicates not me, and then adds, But I do feel for you. Sympathy is more likely to be a shame trigger than something that heals shame.
― Brené Brown,

Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

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