When you make a request of your spouse, you are affirming his or her worth and abilities. You are in essence indcating that she has something or can do something that is meaningful and worthwhile to you. When, however, you make demands, you have become not a lover but a tyrant. Your spouse will feel not affirmed but belittled. A request introduces the element of choice. Your mate may choose to respond to your request or to deny it, because love is always a choice. That’s what makes it meaningful.
― Gary Chapman,
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
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